Kinkmas: Milia Wars

This article was released the day before Christmas Eve.

Just pointing that out.

Let's finish up Kinkmas tonight with one of the most infamous fetish games out there, known mainly because it's one of the few vore games to be found. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time you push out an important fact in your brain so you can remember the existence of Milia Wars. I'm sorry in advance.

Before we begin, I think I need to explain what vore is first, because while I'm sure a good few of you have been on the internet long enough to see the jokes, most of you still have hope for humanity and promise of a better future. I'll be putting a stop to that today. Vore is a fetish that basically amounts to either wanting to be eaten or to eat someone else. Needless to say, Japan latched onto this and vore is just a few stones throw away from anime or manga communities at any given moment. Just go check the Wikipedia page image. If there's a strange fetish out there, you will find it being drawn by a hentai artist at some point. I know a guy who specializes in balloon inflation. Dead serious.

Milia Wars is a weird one because I'd actually consider it solid as a game. It's much better constructed than Huuna Mina, which felt like it needed some more time in the oven, and genuinely fun to play at times. It's basically a short Metal Slug style shoot-em up, though your character has very limited ammo and has to make more use out of her sword. No real story, just go right and kill every monster you find, reach the final boss, kill that, and you win. It has nice sprite art, especially for a small production, and some nice effects. The music works well in giving the game some energy, and there's not really any significant presentation or control flaws. The jumping does feel a tad floaty, with some really odd momentum, but it's easy to learn.

Where it's kind of complete bullshit is in the difficulty. You really have to learn this game inside and out to survive. A lot of monsters are damage sponges, and if you lose any power ups you manage to gain, good luck trying to kill those things. You can also only harm one thing per attack, and they like to group up on you, so you need to figure out how to create space for yourself. On top of that, because ammo runs out so fast, you need to figure out how to quickly get away from enemies while using the sword and not land near another pile of enemies. This is not easy in the slightest. The difficulty curve is ridiculous, though I can at least say it's better than the early version of Echidna Wars I played years ago.

Yes, this is a series. They're making an HD remake.


And then there's the vore element. Every single enemy in the game eats you upon defeating you. Except harpies. They just make out with you. Don't even know why they're here, other than to be annoying because you kind of need ammo to take them out safely due to all the flying. Everything else is either a slug, which is harmless when not in numbers, a weird ...snozzle thing that shoots slime at you as a trap, and a bunch of things that refuse to die. Laimas, the snake girls, love you charge right at you, and while their attack is announced in a hip swaying motion, you need to jump fast to avoid them. They will body you harder than a famous professional wrestler I don't know the name of and I'm afraid to say John Cena because that joke is deader than dirt. Then there's worms, that shoot rocks and do not go down easy, plus are incredibly dangerous up close because of a fast acting eating attack. There's not many of them, but you will learn to despise them. The final area also introduces spider girls, which aren't as annoying because they lack the laimas' aggressive nature, but they make up for it with paralyzing webbing that will lead to death very, very fast if you're not paying attention.

You can take three hits before losing a life, and the game ends after three are used. You have continues for the level itself, but you will eventually run out of those and be brought back to start. You're going to die and be vored A LOT. The disappointing thing here, though, is while the game has surprisingly good production values, it lacks fetish lunacy. Battle the Three Sisters, if it cut some fat, would have been a hilariously strange classic due to sheer variety. Here, you get swallowed and that's about it. No tentacles, no bizarre variants, nothin'. Lesbian harpy make-out sessions is a poor substitute for the insanity that is your average vore story.

If there were any other choices out there, Milia Wars wouldn't be as widely known as it is. Vore games just don't happen much, strangely, and the only other one I know is such a terrifying cocktail of fetishes that I would fully understand why the average vore deviant would be scared off by it. By the way, that game is Fairy Fighting, and no, I will never talk about it. It is FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR too much for your innocent souls. So while Milia Wars seems ridiculous to a normal audience because vore is inherently ridiculous, it's not that big a deal in its medium.

We live in a hell of a time where a game that lets you get stuffed in a snake woman's second mouth to be digested is considered tame.


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